The No Good Awful, Terrible Day

When I started his blogging thing a few months ago it was my goal to post at least once a week.  Clearly I haven't done that…. but for good reason, nothing exciting happens to me!  Until today, today was a terrible, awful, no good, very bad day.

It started off great, I finished up the diaper cake I was taking to a very dear friends baby shower, had my car loaded with some last minute items to take over to the shower and I was on my way out the door with the diaper cake in hand.  On my way out Kevin had asked me if I thought it was slick outside, and it definitely wasn't.  It was going to be a high of 49 degrees today!  Of course it wasn't slick.  Except for that one spot.  That one spot that I stepped on. I slipped….  When I say I slipped, I don't just mean that my feet went out from under me and I landed on my bumm hard… My new, expensive and not quite healed leg bent backward, it made this awful popping sound and there was some sort of tearing sound or feeling.  I'm not quite sure what I heard or felt because it happened so fast, but I did know one thing.  The pain that I was feeling was uncontrollable.  My first reaction was to start screaming: screaming for help, screaming because of the pain, screaming because for some reason I thought that it helped take some of the pain away.  I'm honestly shocked that the neighbors didn't come out of their homes because of the ruckus I was making.  This was something I have never felt before and if I never felt it again in life that would be just fine with me.

Kevin was at the door and had watched this all happen, he came running out and tried to get me up.  There was absolutely NO WAY that I was going to stand up.  I told him to just call the ambulance.  He said I had to stand up and get out of the ice, I told him I had to go to the hospital.  So he ran inside to grab the keys.  When you are in this kind of pain I swear, time moves so slowly.  It felt like an eternity before he came back. One of our neighbors who has a medical background did come out, he said that if I couldn't walk on it that something was probably broken. So off to the Emergency Room we went.  Let me tell you what, I think that EVERYONE was out for a Sunday stroll this morning.  Again, it felt like an e-ter-nit-y before we got to the ER, we managed to hit every red light the entire way.

The Manhattan ER was awesome, they were so calm and kind and caring and gave me a warm blanket (my jeans were soaked in freezing water at this point), they gave me some pain pills and sent me off to X-Ray.  After we got all of the tests run on my leg the doctor comes in and says to me "So, tell me exactly what they did to you in your surgery 3 months ago, because to me it looks like they cut your leg in half"… Another prime opportunity missed to say "What?!?!? They cut my leg in half?  I just went in to have a scope done!"But I didn't…   Good news was that they did not see any additional damage done to my leg (because you can see that in an x-ray?), bad news was that the nurse came in to take me to have a plaster cast done on my ankle.  She told me that I was going to have to be non weight bearing again until I could see a doctor later this week and have it looked at again.  Are you kidding me?!?!?  I JUST got off of my crutches completely, I was NOT going to go through this again….

I negotiated with the doctor for an air cast, with the guarantee I would have it looked at again this next week.  So they wrapped me up, put on my splint and finally sent me on my way.   I've spent the rest of the day in bed, I can feel the pain pills wear off and it sends me over the edge.    Nothing like getting your medical deductible for the year out of the way within the first two weeks of the year:)

While this was such an awful day, I count my blessings, it could have been soooo much worse.  I am so lucky that Kevin was home and that nothing was broken.  I'm hoping that whatever tore or popped was just scar tissue breaking.  When I feel I bent my leg in ways it hasn't bent for three months….

I'll find out more this week, but for now it is just rest and some more rest….

A friendly reminder….

For two years now we have had a Christmas Eve Eve tradition of going to the casino just North of Topeka.  Last year we all lost money, but this year I made $300!!!!  I see a new pair of cowboy boots in my future… that or a new windshield.  Sometimes it sucks to be a responsible adult…. 

While I was sitting at a slot machine the woman next to me and I began chatting.  After we established that the creeper who kept coming to talk to her was NOT her spouse/boyfriend/friend and just a creeper in general we got a good laugh out of it.  We continued to chit chat and she asked me why I was on a crutch.  

SIDE BAR - I don't mind talking about it at all (heck, I BLOG about it), but the last couple of weeks have been trying, mainly because I should have been done with the crutch…. and well… I still have to use it to get around.  I'm not going to lie, I have been having some pretty big pity parties about it at home in the evenings the last few days.  

I explained to her what they did and she asked when I had it done.  I told her the beginning of October and that I was hoping to be walking by now, but things were just not progressing the way I thought that they should have been.  She told me she had surgery in September at KU Med as well, it was her 34th and final surgery…. she had part of her leg amputated.  She initially had gone in to have bunions removed and…. well, clearly something went wrong.  

She wasn't bitter about it, she wasn't angry about it and she was by no means looking for sympathy for it.  She had accepted it for what it was, and was going to make the most of what she has in life.  She shared pictures of her children with me and told me all about her husband, her kids and their animals.  She told Kevin and I about the adorable puppy that her husband brought home one day, and told us how she had trained him to be a service dog for her to help her get around in case she happened to fall or needed assistance.  Her outlook on life was so positive and yet so realistic.  

Driving home last night really made me think about a lot of things…. While I may still be on a crutch, and things may not be progressing as quickly as I would like for them to be, I still have so many things to be thankful for in life.  I knew that recovery was going to take an extended amount of time, I am not a super hero (although I like to think that I have super hero powers some days).  I really do need to get over this pity party and DO SOMETHING instead of feel sorry for myself!  

I read a quote a few years ago, it has always stuck in the back of my mind "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about…"  Isn't that the truth!

Kevin and I wish you and your families a Very Merry Christmas!  God's Blessings to all of you reading this!

Are We There Yet?

I'm sure I (along with many other kids) overwhelmed my parents with this question growing up, "Are we there yet?"  You see, patience has never been a strong suit of mine.  In fact, it's something I attempt to work on every day, but I tend to loose my patience in doing so.

That being said, the last 10 weeks have sucked.  I went back and read some of my blog posts earlier today, hoping to remind myself of how far I have come.   While I am allowed to be full weight bearing, let's be realistic, you don't just stand up and miraculously walk.  It's a process (what isn't) and it is a test of patience.  The thing with this is though, I have no choice but to wait it out and work on things.  I can get frustrated all day long, but at the end of the day, it's not going to change anything.

So here is the update.  I have nerve pain, this isn't just the small pinched nerve here or there, this is shoot up your leg, wake you up in the middle of the night nerve pain.  It comes on when you are least expecting it and in technical terms 'zaps and jolts' you.  I have honestly never experienced anything like this before (and I would be okay never experiencing it again).  It has been going on for about a week and a half now.  Today the nerves in my hamstring have been hard at it.  Since this is 'normal' I guess we are going to go with it for now.

Cross your fingers because I think we are going to be crutch fee in one week (I'm at one now, hoping to go to none soon!).

Stay tuned:)

The Russian

Yesterday when I left physical therapy I was told that today we were going to do some massaging on my knee for today's appointment.  I thought, this is great, a massage that my insurance is going to cover… this makes it worth it.

Who was I kidding. I walked in (hobbled in on crutches) for my appointment and my Physical Therapist says to me "Are you ready for the Russian?"  The Russian?  This does NOT sound like a massage to me!  He follow that up with "Have you ever seen Rocky?"  No, I have never seen Rocky, but when anyone talks about Rocky this is the first thought that comes to my mind.

Uh, No. Thank. You.  I have no desire to come out of PT bloodied and bruised!  I will come back next week for my regular PT appointment full of squats and calf lifts, but for now….I am not interested in your "Russian".

After some hesitations and a few additional questions I discovered that "The Russian" is really just a setting on the electrical stimulation machine.  Well… If you would have said that, I would have been all for it!  E-Stem is my favorite part of Physical Therapy.  In fact, I heard that a person can actually buy their own E-Stem machine at the State Fair (along with getting your teeth whitened, glasses and jewelry cleaned and purchasing exercise equipment, but that post is for another day).  So off we went to the back to do the e-stem!  And let me tell you what, it was great:)  Unfortunately, this is not the same e-stem where they hook you up, turn off the lights, give you a fluffy pillow and let you doze off.  This is the kind where they make you stand up and attempt to activate muscles that have not been activated for about 8 weeks.

But it's all good.  We could see results instantly and several hours later I am still feeling great.

In more serious news. On Monday I will hypothetically be able to walk on my own… sans crutches… but we will see if that becomes a reality, I will take all of the prayers I can get right now.  It has been a long 7-8 weeks, but I have become stronger physically, emotionally and mentally because of it.  There have been so many times that I have said "i can't do it" and guess what… I did…. because I have to.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving this week!

PS - Several of you have asked me about the cat.  We came to the conclusion that we will keep the name Fiona since he already thinks that is his name:)

Fiona vs. Fernando: Part Deux

Fast forward 3 months…..

I do NOT want a cat.  She is mean.  She is mean to my dog, she is mean to Kevin's dog, she is mean to me.  The only person she really gets along with is Kevin.  Kevin calls her and she comes running to him, because she listens to him.  I call her and she runs the other way.  If this photo doesn't convince you about what an awful cat she is I don't know what will!

Every picture of her turns out like this, and this is NOT photoshopped!

There are other reasons I don't like the cat.  When I take a piece of jewelry off she will run off with it if I don't put it away immediately.   One night I took my wedding ring off for a moment and the little sh*t grabbed it and ran, thank goodness I had two working legs at the time!  When I take a bath she sits in the bathroom and stares at you, when you close the curtain she peaks around it.  After I got home from surgery I had to lock her out of the bedroom as she would fight with the dogs constantly, she would then throw herself at the door and make it bang all day.  There are other things she does to me, I can't think of them all right now.

The cat has no fear as you can see from this video and picks on the Abbinator CONSTANTLY:

But Kevin loves this cat, and I know that my dog can be very needy and whiney sometimes as well, and I really need to learn to pick and choose my battles.  So I guess we are keeping the cat.  Today I took Fiona in to get her fixed and declawed (something I swore I would never do to a cat because I think it borders on inhumane but I also don't want to purchase new living room furniture and bedroom furniture in the next year).  So I drop the cat off, go to work and no less than a few minutes later receive a phone call that goes like this…..

The Vet: "Sarah, this is the vet, we uh, I just, well… do you know that Fiona has a p*n!s?"

Me: "*insert awkward uncomfortable laugh here* uh, no? Are you sure?" (How old am I?)

The Vet:"Yea, well, I went in to examine her and get ready to do the procedure, but…. Fiona is a he… I've actually had three other people look at her… him… and come to the same conclusion."

Me:"Ok, well can you fix him then?"

The Vet:"Well, there is the problem, your cat doesn't seem to have any testicles"

Me:"Oh My!  Well…. then what do you recommend?"

The Vet:"Well… I don't really know….. I guess you could just leave him like he is and if anything ever changes you could bring him back…."

Me: Well, ok, hmmmm, well I guess that will be the plan?

There was a lot of laughing during the above conversation!

When I did pick the cat up, the vet was just as perplexed as could be, in all of her years in doing this, she has never encountered a cat like this. 

So, in the long run I guess that the cat saved me some money.  BUT, I think that after today a lot of things have been explained.  It is evident that she has been acting out because she is having an identity crisis:)  Others tell me that her identity crisis is the least of her concerns right now, which is true!

All in all, I have been laughing about this all day today - One of the funniest things that has happened in quite some time!

The ultimate question still remains though, do we change her/his/it's name?  My vote is for Fernando, Kevin says we need to leave it as Fiona (it is his cat ultimately).  He continues to refer to it as a she, I'm pretty sure it is an it at this point. 

Fiona vs. Fernando Part 1

The story really begins several months ago all because of a rodent.  

Several months ago when I was in the basement doing laundry and changing out the sheets on the guest bed I noticed that we had evidence of a mouse.  If there is one thing I hate more than anything else in this world, it is a mouse.  I screamed, I cried, I ran upstairs, I refused to go back downstairs, I cried some more and declared that I was going to move out of our house because there was a mouse in the basement (more like a family, but that is a story for another day).  I bought packages and packages of sticky traps and snap traps - the little rodents would get stuck and then peel themselves off of the traps or set the traps off but escape.  I had caught a total of 0 after several weeks (at which point I am sure the things had multiplied).  This was also about the time that one of my favorite episodes of Duck Dynasty came out, when the Robertson's had mice, Miss Kay got three cats!

SO……...

I begged Kevin for a cat, I just KNEW that if we had a cat it would catch the mice, I had to have a cat… but Kevin was 'allergic'. 

My dear Neighbor Ms M. knew how much I wanted a cat (although I don't think she knew about the rodent issue), so one day in the middle of July she shows up to my front door with a present.  A sweet little kitten from her parents farm.  It was the saddest looking kitten, barely pushing 4 weeks, had eye issues, the momma cat had abandoned it and "Sarah, it's going to get run over by a combine if you don't take it… "  If you know me at all, you know I am a sucker for situations like this, but at the same time the thing was as HOMELY and UGLY as a toad.  I turned to look at Kevin and he said "sure, we can keep it"  (wrong answer!).  So we started off with the kitten on a trial period.  It used it's litter box, it didn't make a lot of noise, it didn't do much of anything but sit on top of our laptops to stay warm.  For several weeks I nursed this cat back to health. 

And then…. Kevin named it.  On the way home from somewhere he looks at me and says "I think we should name the cat Fiona" (it was obviously a girl, it didn't have boy parts).  Once you name an animal you are stuck with it. There are no take-backsies 

Light At The End Of The Tunnel

I think the title of this blog says it all.  I don't know specifically what it was this weekend, but something happened.  I had a revelation that not only have I far passed the halfway point, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel!

So Wednesday I am going to be starting to add weight to my leg when I walk, but on Saturday morning I figured what the heck, why not start now.  Honestly, what are 4 days going to do after 5 1/2 weeks?  So far so good!  This means that I am just at 3 weeks from ditching the crutches and having my life completely back!  Let me tell you about the to do list I have in store for housework - I may have to take more time off from work just to get my list taken care of!