Sleep!

This is the first blog post I have written in what seems like forever!  There have been numerous blog posts that I have intended to write, I just haven't had the time to do it (shocking...).  The last day or two I have found some extra time here and there so I wanted to start on some of these posts. 

Before we got pregnant, I valued my sleep.  I had a strict schedule that I followed, aiming for a minimum of 8 hours of sleep.   While I was pregnant sleep became more and more scarce... My insomnia was awful, I would fall asleep early and then wake up from 2AM-4AM or even longer.  I'm sure it was my body ramping me up for this little human being coming into this world!

The first week Kennedy was home, holy smokes she had her days and nights mixed up!  The first night we were at home she was up until 4:45 (wanting to be held, and walked and rocked... quite honestly I'm not sure what she wanted and neither was she.... we were still both so new to each other and trying to figure each other out!).... The first week continued like this, off and on.... but once we hit about week 3 I woke up in the morning and my heart skipped a beat.... we had only woken up once in the night and it was 8AM.... I ran to her little bassinet she sleeps in, in our bedroom and peeked in, and there she was.... sleeping peacefully.... I had a conversation with my mom about whether or not we should wake her... and even though we agreed we weren't going to wake her, I did.... 

Now that we are at the beginning of week 5, this whole wake up once in the middle of the night has gotten better and better! I know I'm not getting anywhere close to 8 hours of sleep at night, but honestly.... I wouldn't want to spend it any other way!  Kennedy and I are getting our schedules both on the same track, she fusses to wake me up, I get up and pump, she wakes up when I get done, I change her, feed her and rock her back to sleep and then lay her back down.... We do this once each night and on a good day she will wake up for the day around 8AM or 9AM....  Our whole system takes us about an hour if it is just me, on the weekends when Kevin is able to help out more we can cut that time down to 35-45 minutes... there ought to be an Olympic sport for changing, feeding and putting a baby back to bed!

Pregnancy Brain

I'm not doing a very good job of keeping up with this blogging thing.  I just received a notification that it has been well over a month since I have last written!  in my defense a lot has happened in the last month:)  I wish we could have another month of summer quite honestly!

The last few days have been rough.  I have lost my keys, lost my cell phone, lost my credit card and think I may be loosing my mind!

It started a week ago on Sunday, Kevin and I drove to church separately, he left before I did so when it came time for me to get in the car, I had no keys.  I looked everywhere, in all the rooms, in the couch cushions... EVERYWHERE!  So I ended up taking the spare key in hopes Kevin had my car keys with him.  Got to church, mentioned to Kevin I lost my keys and he just smirked.  Of course he knew where they were.  So after some harassing he told me I had left them in the garage on top of the trash can (isn't that is where everyone keeps their car keys!).

A few days later I was getting ready to leave for work, I had decided to go in early so I could get some additional things done before everyone else got there.  It came time to get in my car and I could not find my keys (again).  I looked everywhere...... again.  In all of the rooms, in the couch cushions, in the garage on top of the trash can.  No keys.  So I put my purse and other things in the car, only to discover that I had left my keys in the ignition with my window rolled down from the night before.  Thank goodness we live in a safe neighborhood!

At this point I was starting to get a little concerned about myself.  Kevin and I went to lunch yesterday after our child birthing class, I paid, we went home, took a nap, did some work and then I decided to go and get groceries.  Checking out I started to look for my credit card.  No where to be found, I started to clean my purse out in the middle of the register (there was no one behind me) and I couldn't find it anywhere!  I paid for the groceries with a different card, but this was really bothering me.  I knew that I wouldn't have stuck the card in a pants pocket because my pants didn't have pockets.  So I called the restaurant where we had lunch.  Sure enough, I had left my freaking credit card there! So I went and picked up my card, went home, unloaded groceries and made dinner.

So then it was time to go to bed and I couldn't find my phone (do you see a trend here).  I looked high and low and no phone.  I used Kevin's phone to call my phone and no phone.  So Kevin went outside and found the phone in my car.  Whew!  Crisis adverted, just misplaced, not lost!

This morning Kevin wakes up and goes to check his phone, and now he can't find it.  Guess who had it last?  That's right.. me:)  Apparently I had put his phone in my purse (which is a hazard in and of itself!).

I'm going to blame this one on pregnancy brain, I just have a lot of other things on my mind right now, but I do think that there is some truth to pregnancy brain.  Let's just all hope I can get through the next 9 weeks and not loose anything else of importance!

Sheldon....

A few weeks ago my mom bought some chicks, I thought it would be great if I got some ducks to add to her flock and before she could say yes I had acquired 4!  When I went to buy my 2 (cough 4) ducks I couldn't decide on one what breed, and I thought that everyone needed a mate and I didn't want any specific duck to feel like they didn't look like the others.  SO, I decided on 2 spotted ducks and 2 crested ducks (I honestly would have gotten more but they only had two breeds at the time)....

I took them to my mom's and we made them a swimming pool (Kevin refused to let them swim in the pool in our backyard, I don't know why)....

From Left to Right: Sheldon, Spot, Penny and Howard

These little suckers have GROWN in just three weeks - every time I go out to visit them (I try to see them every other day when I am in town) I swear that they double in size.... Now, let's get a few things straight, yes, I know that they are "just ducks", I'm not convinced that I may or may not switch Howard and Penny around, I just can't keep them straight and honestly all four of these little fuzzy creatures hate me and anyone else with two legs. 

There are also some things that if you don't already know about me...well, you should.  When I start a project or do something, I go ALL IN.  So, when I got ducks, I went all in, I fell in love with all four of my ducks - they were each different in their own special way (yes, again, I know that they are ducks)... I get attached, and by attached.. well, just read on. 

This morning I received a text message from my mom that Sheldon was limping and was not doing well.  I met up with her later in the day and found out that apparently Sheldon had somehow broken his/her/it's little duck leg... He wasn't really moving around his duck box and wasn't able to get to water or food.  I asked her the inevitable question, "do we have to put him down?"and she shook her head yes.  Now, I should set the scene a little.  We are standing in the middle of the paint section at Menards and I start to cry.  I mean, Sheldon is my least favorite of the 4, but still, he's my little duck.  So as I wipe away a few tears I say out loud "I am crying over a duck... really?" (I'm chalking this one up to pregnancy hormones)... It sounds so ridicules when you say it out loud... We both agreed to not talk about it any more. 

So, no more tears have been shed. We are going to see how he progresses throughout the weekend but his prognoses looks grim.  I said a few prayers for him during church tonight (yes, a duck), but we will see how things go.  

I know it's the circle of life, but still... when you are the one responsible for it... a little part of you feels like you let it down.... 

That New Car Smell

Today was kind of a rough day.  What started off as going to have our Prius looked into and hoping for an O2 sensor quickly turned into a little more than we had bargained.  Kevin had made the comment to me a week ago that the Check Engine light had come on in the Prius.  I always joke that it means "check your pocket book!".  Sure enough..... I went to get my car at the place that cares for our regular maintenance on the cars.  They have always been very fair with us and are nice folks.  When I stopped by today he said "maybe we should have a seat"  (never a good sign).  The catalytic converter is slowly going out on the Prius, a problem that they are starting to find out that Prius's have more often.  Now, I should tell you, the catalytic converter on a  hybrid... NOT CHEAP!  $2K to be exact.  Now, compound this with the fact that we just paid the darn thing off last month, we don't even have the title in hand right now... It's still in the mail....

So I call the hubs and put him on speaker phone, he immediately says "well let's get it fixed" I said, Kevin, I think we need to talk about this.  Now, let me remind you of a few things.  We have no debt except for our house, we haven't been a month without a car payment, so I would like to enjoy this new found freedom for a few months/years if at all possible.  At the same time I realize that we have a family that is growing.  Both of our vehicles can easily handle a car seat, but what happens down the road if there is a Baby K2?  Do we do the upgrade now?  Do we wait it out?  How do we know the new Cat Converter isn't going to crap out on us?  A new one only carries a 12 month warranty (or 12K miles, which we know we will hit in 3-4 month). ... So I said, why don't I just do some pricing around town and see what a new car would cost, etc.

So off I went... (Disclaimer: At first I wasn't sure I was going to post the names of the businesses that I visited, but I feel that it is really necessary, especially for those of you who have had sour experiences to really enjoy the story.. that and I think that the general public needs to know some things)

Stop #1 - Little Apple Toyota - I drove around the parking lot a few times, scoping out the used cars.  There was one I was interested in so i cautiously got out of the car and looked around.  It seemed safe... no salespeople in site.  So as I was looking at one of the used cars I see in the window a man running (literally running) towards the lot.  I scurry two cars over, but not in time, he has me cornered.  He is actually still tucking his shirt in and putting on his belt as he approaches me (afternoon nap?).  Leans against another car and says "so, can I help you?"  Just looking, thank you.  He doesn't get the hint, "so what are you in the market for?"  I said, oh, just looking Thank you.  Again, still doesn't get the hint and just stands there and stares at me awkwardly.  (Side Bar: Anytime I get annoyed with someone in a situation like this, I start to rub the pregnant belly and made disgruntled faces at them.  Hoping they get the hint and leave).  So I rub my belly, put a hand on my back and said, well we are looking at possibly trading our Prius in.  He asked me how many miles are on it and I proudly tell him jut over 151,000!  So I ask him what kind of trade in value he thinks my car has.  (Before I tell you what his response is, I do feel like I need to explain something.  I LOVE MY PRIUS.  It makes me sad that Kevin drives this car every day to work and I do not have the option to drive in daily.  I'm not sure what it is about this car, maybe it's because it's the first car I negotiated on my own?  Maybe it's because it gets great gas mileage?  Maybe it's all of the research I put into buying it... I'm not sure, but I do know that my emotional attachment to this vehicle is a bit excessive) He looks at me and says very gruffly (still leaning on the car) "hmm, maybe $1,000, probably not even that"  The man has offended me.  I feel like he has insulted my child.  I am no longer interested  in what he has to say.  In fact, I am so angry at what he has just told me that I just want to get in my little green car and leave.  He stands between me and my car.  So I start walking, hand on my belly, other hand on my back.  He keeps talking to me, at this point I have no idea what he is saying.  I just have to get in my car.  I somehow get in my car and stew over what has just happened.  I call Kevin and he says "hey, I bet if I take the car in tomorrow I can get more money for it then you just did"... True story my friend... True Story.

Stop #2 - Briggs - I decide to continue on my journey, this time a little further down the road.  I stop at Brigg's and ask if they have any hybrids.  He tells me that he will check one of their 11 lots!  This sounds promising:)  I go in to the store (big mistake).  They start asking me why I want a hybrid.  I explain that my husband drives to Topeka every day and we really enjoy the gas mileage that the Prius has gotten us and really haven't had any major problems in the last 151,000 miles.  One guy in the room looks at me and says to me "well we need to get your husband into something that has a little get up and go."  I said, oh, I think the Prius has plenty of get up and go, I don't think we need to worry about that.  He said "oh no, I think your husband needs a V6 or a V8"  I'm sure you do, that is not necessary, thank you for your unsolicited input.  So he says, what if we put your husband into a car that is completely gas powered and you don't have to worry about the battery.  I told him that we have never had a problem with the battery and that I was not too concerned about that.  I then had to explain to him that you don't plug a Prius in (he was confused, it wasn't a Toyota dealership, so maybe I'll cut him some slack?)  They take me out to this mini, wanna be SUV thing that was smaller than the Prius.  I took one look at it and said HA, I would NEVER drive something that UGLY! My time at Brigg's was done.

Stop #3 - By this time I have learned my lessons 1 - Do NOT get out of the car and 2 - Go at least 10MPH through the lots so that the dealers cannot catch you.  Remember, you are in a vehicle, they are on foot.  Dick Edwards.  I found their used car lot, I drove around three times, enough time for TWO salesman to come out.  I had a quick question so I rolled my window down (just enough so they could hear me).  Asked some basic questions and then thanked them for their time, and drove off.  They offered to take my name and number, but that is information I do not give out to just anyone.

I made a few other stops, picked my mom up to do some shopping around town, took her back to show her a few things that I had discovered during my adventures.  One of these sadly was at Little Apple Toyota.  This time we did have a salesman who was fully dressed.  He was actually pretty knowledgeable and I would for sure visit with him again IF we were interested.

All in all... a long day... a very educational day and most importantly... a day full of great stories:)

For now I think we will keep the Pistachio - her and I have been together for a few years and I just don't think our time is over.  She took me on many dates with Kevin, took me to my wedding day, takes my husband to and from Topeka safely every day and I look forward to bringing our beanette home in her.

Our 'Vacation' that we need a vacation from!

Whew!  The last few days have been nothing but a whirlwind of activity!  I will start this out by saying, we do not consider the last week a vacation.  Waking up at 4:30AM (3:30AM CST) was not our idea of a good time, but it was well worth the outcome:)  Kevin and I had our first big trip together and not only did we survive, I think we enjoyed our time together:)

We went into "The City" on one of the first days.  Needless to say, Kevin and I can both CROSS THIS OFF OF OUR LIST OF PLACES TO LIVE.  I have mad respect for those of you reading this who do live in New York, but it was not for us.

We started off at Time Square - I saw Cookie Monster and Shrek!  Cookie Monster was a little too fond of me as you can see here - - - After we had our pictures taken, Cookie Monster demanded that I tip him for his time taking a picture - he felt that $10 was appropriate.  I felt like $0 was more appropriate.  We settled at $1.

We saw Ground Zero, we saw the Statue of Liberty, we rode on a double decker bus, we saw where Payton Manning lives, the list goes on and on and on.

The real point of the trip was to watch my little brother graduate from West Point Military Academy and to be commissioned as an officer after his graduation.  This was not a day long process, it was a 2-3 day long experience!

The cadets preform several types of 'parades' throughout the year.  The graduation parade we have been told is the most impressive.  I have to say, my favorite part is the hats!  How fancy are those!  Only the Seniors or Firsties get to wear the hats with feathers (along with the handsome red sashes).

They really do all look the same with their hats and haircuts. 

The entire week was FULL OF PICTURES! I kept telling Andrew, this is a once in a lifetime moment, we have to document the entire process!  After the parade we took more pictures. 

They must train them not to smile!

 The next day was graduation day!  This was so exciting for me because the POTUS was speaking (oh yea, and graduation was happening to) as the commencement speaker.  Something about being in the same building as the POTUS is incredibly awe-inspiring to me.  There was one, no wait, two slight problems with this day.  Because POTUS was coming to speak they had asked that we all be on grounds by 7AM (graduation started at 10AM), in our seats by 8:30AM.  The weather that morning was not what we were told it was going to be.  So we (all 4000 of us) showed up in nice dresses, sandals, etc.  It was foggy/misty/rainy and about 48 degrees.  It's a miracle that we did not come home with pneumonia! Our seats were also on the other side of the stadium from POTUS, but that did not stop me from taking a hundred pictures (and videos).  

Happy Graduation Andrew!  Don't let go of that diploma!

To finish out the day we had Andrew's commissioning ceremony.  We went out to the shooting range where he has spent the last 4 years of his life as a place to get away and enjoy himself.  Andrew (although he will never admit it) has been one of the top shooters for the Trap and Skeet Team for West Point.  I think that the commissioning was my favorite part of the entire trip.  It was a private/intimate setting with just close friends and family.  There were four cadets who were commissioned out there that afternoon.  I was even more excited because my mom got to put Andrew's officer bars on his jacket!  

Also, let's not forget that I got to go to West Point prom (a banquet for cadets and their guests the night before graduation).  

 All in all a great week, we may not have gotten a lot of R&R but we got to spend some great time with family and friends and made some great memories!

Leg 1 of Kevin and Sarah are Flying Together for the First Time Ever!

Whew - We just blew into the windy city of Chicago, and I before my dear husband gets on social media and gives "his side" of the story, I just feel like I need to share what actually happened this morning.

Preface: Last night we had a conversation about our schedule for the morning.  Drive separate to Topeka, carpool together to the airport.  Leave Topeka at 8, gets us to the airport at 9, gives us two hours to check in before our 11AM flight.  At some point this morning, one of us (I'm not pointing any fingers) forgot what the game plan was.

4AM - Alarm goes off for Kevin, Sarah gets up.
4:15AM - Kevin gets up
6AM - Kevin leaves for Topeka to finish up work
6:15 Sarah heads off to Manhattan to buy socks for someone (again, not pointing any fingers) who couldn't find any clean or dirty socks this morning.
6:30 - Sarah Heads off top Topeka
7:30 - Sarah: Hey Kevin, are you ready?
          Kevin: I thought we weren't leaving until 8, I really need to work until 8
          Sarah: No worries, I'll just kill some time
8:15: Kevin: Hey, I need just 15 more minutes and then I'll leave
8:45: Kevin: I'm leaving the office
9:00: We depart Topeka

It is now 1:40 and we are sitting in Chicago, on our two hour lay over.  We are no longer on our time.... we are on airport time, and I am A OKAY with that.

I realize very quickly that we are now exactly 1 hour behind my planned itinerary.  Throughout the next hour, I believe that there were several references to NASCAR and my driving ability.  I qualified. (There is a discrepancy about what justifies "qualifying" but since this is my blog post and I say I qualified, I did!)

10:01: We pull into satellite parking at the airport
10:15: Excuse me ma'am, I believe that our flight boards in about 15-20 minutes and I think that the line to check luggage is longer than that.  "You should have been here two hours before your flight..." Yes ma'am, I understand, I apologize, can you just please help us?  ... So she barked orders at me, told me to tell Kevin to run to the security line... he did, I ran after him, we got through security, to our gate and make it with 15 minutes to spare by standing in line....

As Kevin said, Want to know how to make an Event Planner who is super attractive and well organized (this is the Hollywood version) get upset?  Show up to satellite parking with less than an hour before you are wheels up.   Truer words could not be spoken

I also see that Kevin has put a warning up claiming that this is a much made up, fabricated story.  I'll let you be the judge of that.....

Until further delays, layovers and qualifying:)

What is in a name?

YIKES!  May is almost half over and I haven't blogged in quite some time.  I keep meaning to write blogs, I think of funny/whity things that I want to share with the world, but I never seem to find the time to write these up.  In fact, I seem to keep meeting myself coming and going.  Kevin has been just as busy, in fact the last two or three days I know that he comes home but we barely see each other long enough to say hello or good bye!

This is a blog post that I have written in my head several times, What is in a name?  It was a question that Shakespeare asked, and Kevin and I find ourselves asking the same question (not as poetically).  We still don't know if we are having a girl or a boy, so we haven't gotten too serious about this whole name game... yet.  We are still throwing around names to each other, if we hear a name we like we will text it to each other and here is what the response typically are.

1 - I would have to hear it pronounced to tell you if I like it or not.
2 - I prosecuted someone with that name
3 - I had a kid in the program with that name who annoyed me.
4 - I knew someone in high school with that name, we can't name our kid that.

Apparently (unbeknownst to me) we both came into this marriage with a list of names that if we had a girl or a boy we wanted to name our child.  A grand total of ZERO of those names share both Kevin's list and my list.  In fact, our lists are so totally different it's a little scary.  This may have been something we should have discussed in our marriage counseling/prep classes.

We have had some great suggestions from some family members.

Kevin Jr (Kevin said no)
Little Bobby (I'll let you guess who came up with this original one)
Little Baby Bobby (again, I'll give you one guess)
Ida Jane (Ida think you better stop sending daily name suggestions;) HA)
Little Bobbie (you know, in case it's a girl)

I suppose we will get a little more serious about this in another month or so.  I hear that they don't let you leave the hospital with a baby with no name.

Is it bedtime yet?

For the last 8 years I have really pushed to have a regular schedule for myself.  I really think that we are creatures of habit, so the more consistent I can make my daily routine, the more of a habit it becomes for me.  I also think that everyone needs a MINIMUM of 8 hours of sleep a day in order to be effective at what they do (and I think that most research would back me up).  This is why I try to be an over achiever and get 9 hours of sleep a night!  Bed by 10 up by 7:)  Now I'll be honest, this doesn't always happen for me, in fact, very rarely do I really get to bed by 10.  The last few weeks though, holy tiredness!  I could go to sleep at 8, wait… who am I kidding!  I could go to sleep as soon as I get home from work!  The past few days though, I have tried to push through it.  I have a lengthy to do list that needs to get done before the Little One comes! Speaking of to do lists, I do feel that if I share my to do list it increases the chances of things getting accomplished in a timely fashion…. accountability is the game!

Some things on our To Do list do include (and we are taking offers for volunteer help!)

Finish staining the deck by the pool - Anticipated finish date April 11

Finish stripping the house deck

Stain the house deck

Open the pool

Paint a power cat on the bottom of the pool

Grow grass

Grow flowers

Compromise on colors and a design for the nursery

Buy baby furniture

Assemble said baby furniture

This is the pool before we started staining it

First coat of stain has been applied in this picture - as of right now it looks so much better than this!  The second coat of stain was really clutch!

Baby K is on the way!

It has been awhile since I have had a blog post!  That's because I have THE hardest time keeping a secret of the magnitude that we have had for the last three months!  I figured I would start blogging about everything once we shared our exciting news with the world (IE: Facebook).

First, I am so overwhelmed by all of the love and support of all of our friends!  What a wonderful support system we truly have, my favorite are the calls asking me to hold the phone to my belly so that the caller can talk to beans (the baby).  So, if you call, don't forget to talk to the tummy as well;)

From the beginning (before we even got pregnant), God and I had a long conversation.  I told him how I really wanted a healthy baby, and if it happened to be a boy I would be elated and very appreciative!  (I'm afraid if we have a girl she is going to be like me and a little too strong willed for my patience) So for the first trimester, all signs pointed to boy!  No morning sickness, CONSTANTLY hungry (this thing brings a whole new level to the term hunger!), the list went on.  Well, we had our first doctor's appointment the other day and…. it might be a girl (we will not officially know for another 2 months).  I guess God may have a sense of humor;)

So that probably answers some of your questions, how have you been feeling?  Have you been able to eat?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I can eat non stop, I am starving when I wake up, I am starving when I get to work, I am starving mid morning, I am ALWAYS hungry.  Honestly, I have told Kevin numerous times that I am growing a line backer in here!  There was a few weeks where I did have to ban all Chinese food from our home, but that ban was lifted pretty quickly!

I have to say, I don't have a sweet romantic story about how I told Kevin we were expecting.  When I found out I knew that Kevin wouldn't be home for several more hours, and I couldn't wait (refer to the beginning of this post about how I don't keep secrets of this size very well).  I called him and told him to come home IMMEDIATELY, he didn't even ask why, he just said "you're pregnant aren't you?" Not only am I a terrible secret keeper from my husband, I am an even worse liar… so I told him over the phone.

We have several nick names for Baby K, they include:
Beans
LB (lil' Bobby- This is the nickname my step dad has given the bean, he also says that it can be spelled lil' Bobbie if it is a girl… good to know… )
BBS (The Baby Bill Snyder - How appropriate for my line backer reference, right? That was vetoed pretty quickly by about everyone)
Baby K

So be watching for more Baby Bump updates!  4 Months done, just 5 more to go!

The No Good Awful, Terrible Day

When I started his blogging thing a few months ago it was my goal to post at least once a week.  Clearly I haven't done that…. but for good reason, nothing exciting happens to me!  Until today, today was a terrible, awful, no good, very bad day.

It started off great, I finished up the diaper cake I was taking to a very dear friends baby shower, had my car loaded with some last minute items to take over to the shower and I was on my way out the door with the diaper cake in hand.  On my way out Kevin had asked me if I thought it was slick outside, and it definitely wasn't.  It was going to be a high of 49 degrees today!  Of course it wasn't slick.  Except for that one spot.  That one spot that I stepped on. I slipped….  When I say I slipped, I don't just mean that my feet went out from under me and I landed on my bumm hard… My new, expensive and not quite healed leg bent backward, it made this awful popping sound and there was some sort of tearing sound or feeling.  I'm not quite sure what I heard or felt because it happened so fast, but I did know one thing.  The pain that I was feeling was uncontrollable.  My first reaction was to start screaming: screaming for help, screaming because of the pain, screaming because for some reason I thought that it helped take some of the pain away.  I'm honestly shocked that the neighbors didn't come out of their homes because of the ruckus I was making.  This was something I have never felt before and if I never felt it again in life that would be just fine with me.

Kevin was at the door and had watched this all happen, he came running out and tried to get me up.  There was absolutely NO WAY that I was going to stand up.  I told him to just call the ambulance.  He said I had to stand up and get out of the ice, I told him I had to go to the hospital.  So he ran inside to grab the keys.  When you are in this kind of pain I swear, time moves so slowly.  It felt like an eternity before he came back. One of our neighbors who has a medical background did come out, he said that if I couldn't walk on it that something was probably broken. So off to the Emergency Room we went.  Let me tell you what, I think that EVERYONE was out for a Sunday stroll this morning.  Again, it felt like an e-ter-nit-y before we got to the ER, we managed to hit every red light the entire way.

The Manhattan ER was awesome, they were so calm and kind and caring and gave me a warm blanket (my jeans were soaked in freezing water at this point), they gave me some pain pills and sent me off to X-Ray.  After we got all of the tests run on my leg the doctor comes in and says to me "So, tell me exactly what they did to you in your surgery 3 months ago, because to me it looks like they cut your leg in half"… Another prime opportunity missed to say "What?!?!? They cut my leg in half?  I just went in to have a scope done!"But I didn't…   Good news was that they did not see any additional damage done to my leg (because you can see that in an x-ray?), bad news was that the nurse came in to take me to have a plaster cast done on my ankle.  She told me that I was going to have to be non weight bearing again until I could see a doctor later this week and have it looked at again.  Are you kidding me?!?!?  I JUST got off of my crutches completely, I was NOT going to go through this again….

I negotiated with the doctor for an air cast, with the guarantee I would have it looked at again this next week.  So they wrapped me up, put on my splint and finally sent me on my way.   I've spent the rest of the day in bed, I can feel the pain pills wear off and it sends me over the edge.    Nothing like getting your medical deductible for the year out of the way within the first two weeks of the year:)

While this was such an awful day, I count my blessings, it could have been soooo much worse.  I am so lucky that Kevin was home and that nothing was broken.  I'm hoping that whatever tore or popped was just scar tissue breaking.  When I feel I bent my leg in ways it hasn't bent for three months….

I'll find out more this week, but for now it is just rest and some more rest….

A friendly reminder….

For two years now we have had a Christmas Eve Eve tradition of going to the casino just North of Topeka.  Last year we all lost money, but this year I made $300!!!!  I see a new pair of cowboy boots in my future… that or a new windshield.  Sometimes it sucks to be a responsible adult…. 

While I was sitting at a slot machine the woman next to me and I began chatting.  After we established that the creeper who kept coming to talk to her was NOT her spouse/boyfriend/friend and just a creeper in general we got a good laugh out of it.  We continued to chit chat and she asked me why I was on a crutch.  

SIDE BAR - I don't mind talking about it at all (heck, I BLOG about it), but the last couple of weeks have been trying, mainly because I should have been done with the crutch…. and well… I still have to use it to get around.  I'm not going to lie, I have been having some pretty big pity parties about it at home in the evenings the last few days.  

I explained to her what they did and she asked when I had it done.  I told her the beginning of October and that I was hoping to be walking by now, but things were just not progressing the way I thought that they should have been.  She told me she had surgery in September at KU Med as well, it was her 34th and final surgery…. she had part of her leg amputated.  She initially had gone in to have bunions removed and…. well, clearly something went wrong.  

She wasn't bitter about it, she wasn't angry about it and she was by no means looking for sympathy for it.  She had accepted it for what it was, and was going to make the most of what she has in life.  She shared pictures of her children with me and told me all about her husband, her kids and their animals.  She told Kevin and I about the adorable puppy that her husband brought home one day, and told us how she had trained him to be a service dog for her to help her get around in case she happened to fall or needed assistance.  Her outlook on life was so positive and yet so realistic.  

Driving home last night really made me think about a lot of things…. While I may still be on a crutch, and things may not be progressing as quickly as I would like for them to be, I still have so many things to be thankful for in life.  I knew that recovery was going to take an extended amount of time, I am not a super hero (although I like to think that I have super hero powers some days).  I really do need to get over this pity party and DO SOMETHING instead of feel sorry for myself!  

I read a quote a few years ago, it has always stuck in the back of my mind "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about…"  Isn't that the truth!

Kevin and I wish you and your families a Very Merry Christmas!  God's Blessings to all of you reading this!

Are We There Yet?

I'm sure I (along with many other kids) overwhelmed my parents with this question growing up, "Are we there yet?"  You see, patience has never been a strong suit of mine.  In fact, it's something I attempt to work on every day, but I tend to loose my patience in doing so.

That being said, the last 10 weeks have sucked.  I went back and read some of my blog posts earlier today, hoping to remind myself of how far I have come.   While I am allowed to be full weight bearing, let's be realistic, you don't just stand up and miraculously walk.  It's a process (what isn't) and it is a test of patience.  The thing with this is though, I have no choice but to wait it out and work on things.  I can get frustrated all day long, but at the end of the day, it's not going to change anything.

So here is the update.  I have nerve pain, this isn't just the small pinched nerve here or there, this is shoot up your leg, wake you up in the middle of the night nerve pain.  It comes on when you are least expecting it and in technical terms 'zaps and jolts' you.  I have honestly never experienced anything like this before (and I would be okay never experiencing it again).  It has been going on for about a week and a half now.  Today the nerves in my hamstring have been hard at it.  Since this is 'normal' I guess we are going to go with it for now.

Cross your fingers because I think we are going to be crutch fee in one week (I'm at one now, hoping to go to none soon!).

Stay tuned:)

The Russian

Yesterday when I left physical therapy I was told that today we were going to do some massaging on my knee for today's appointment.  I thought, this is great, a massage that my insurance is going to cover… this makes it worth it.

Who was I kidding. I walked in (hobbled in on crutches) for my appointment and my Physical Therapist says to me "Are you ready for the Russian?"  The Russian?  This does NOT sound like a massage to me!  He follow that up with "Have you ever seen Rocky?"  No, I have never seen Rocky, but when anyone talks about Rocky this is the first thought that comes to my mind.

Uh, No. Thank. You.  I have no desire to come out of PT bloodied and bruised!  I will come back next week for my regular PT appointment full of squats and calf lifts, but for now….I am not interested in your "Russian".

After some hesitations and a few additional questions I discovered that "The Russian" is really just a setting on the electrical stimulation machine.  Well… If you would have said that, I would have been all for it!  E-Stem is my favorite part of Physical Therapy.  In fact, I heard that a person can actually buy their own E-Stem machine at the State Fair (along with getting your teeth whitened, glasses and jewelry cleaned and purchasing exercise equipment, but that post is for another day).  So off we went to the back to do the e-stem!  And let me tell you what, it was great:)  Unfortunately, this is not the same e-stem where they hook you up, turn off the lights, give you a fluffy pillow and let you doze off.  This is the kind where they make you stand up and attempt to activate muscles that have not been activated for about 8 weeks.

But it's all good.  We could see results instantly and several hours later I am still feeling great.

In more serious news. On Monday I will hypothetically be able to walk on my own… sans crutches… but we will see if that becomes a reality, I will take all of the prayers I can get right now.  It has been a long 7-8 weeks, but I have become stronger physically, emotionally and mentally because of it.  There have been so many times that I have said "i can't do it" and guess what… I did…. because I have to.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving this week!

PS - Several of you have asked me about the cat.  We came to the conclusion that we will keep the name Fiona since he already thinks that is his name:)

Fiona vs. Fernando: Part Deux

Fast forward 3 months…..

I do NOT want a cat.  She is mean.  She is mean to my dog, she is mean to Kevin's dog, she is mean to me.  The only person she really gets along with is Kevin.  Kevin calls her and she comes running to him, because she listens to him.  I call her and she runs the other way.  If this photo doesn't convince you about what an awful cat she is I don't know what will!

Every picture of her turns out like this, and this is NOT photoshopped!

There are other reasons I don't like the cat.  When I take a piece of jewelry off she will run off with it if I don't put it away immediately.   One night I took my wedding ring off for a moment and the little sh*t grabbed it and ran, thank goodness I had two working legs at the time!  When I take a bath she sits in the bathroom and stares at you, when you close the curtain she peaks around it.  After I got home from surgery I had to lock her out of the bedroom as she would fight with the dogs constantly, she would then throw herself at the door and make it bang all day.  There are other things she does to me, I can't think of them all right now.

The cat has no fear as you can see from this video and picks on the Abbinator CONSTANTLY:

But Kevin loves this cat, and I know that my dog can be very needy and whiney sometimes as well, and I really need to learn to pick and choose my battles.  So I guess we are keeping the cat.  Today I took Fiona in to get her fixed and declawed (something I swore I would never do to a cat because I think it borders on inhumane but I also don't want to purchase new living room furniture and bedroom furniture in the next year).  So I drop the cat off, go to work and no less than a few minutes later receive a phone call that goes like this…..

The Vet: "Sarah, this is the vet, we uh, I just, well… do you know that Fiona has a p*n!s?"

Me: "*insert awkward uncomfortable laugh here* uh, no? Are you sure?" (How old am I?)

The Vet:"Yea, well, I went in to examine her and get ready to do the procedure, but…. Fiona is a he… I've actually had three other people look at her… him… and come to the same conclusion."

Me:"Ok, well can you fix him then?"

The Vet:"Well, there is the problem, your cat doesn't seem to have any testicles"

Me:"Oh My!  Well…. then what do you recommend?"

The Vet:"Well… I don't really know….. I guess you could just leave him like he is and if anything ever changes you could bring him back…."

Me: Well, ok, hmmmm, well I guess that will be the plan?

There was a lot of laughing during the above conversation!

When I did pick the cat up, the vet was just as perplexed as could be, in all of her years in doing this, she has never encountered a cat like this. 

So, in the long run I guess that the cat saved me some money.  BUT, I think that after today a lot of things have been explained.  It is evident that she has been acting out because she is having an identity crisis:)  Others tell me that her identity crisis is the least of her concerns right now, which is true!

All in all, I have been laughing about this all day today - One of the funniest things that has happened in quite some time!

The ultimate question still remains though, do we change her/his/it's name?  My vote is for Fernando, Kevin says we need to leave it as Fiona (it is his cat ultimately).  He continues to refer to it as a she, I'm pretty sure it is an it at this point. 

Fiona vs. Fernando Part 1

The story really begins several months ago all because of a rodent.  

Several months ago when I was in the basement doing laundry and changing out the sheets on the guest bed I noticed that we had evidence of a mouse.  If there is one thing I hate more than anything else in this world, it is a mouse.  I screamed, I cried, I ran upstairs, I refused to go back downstairs, I cried some more and declared that I was going to move out of our house because there was a mouse in the basement (more like a family, but that is a story for another day).  I bought packages and packages of sticky traps and snap traps - the little rodents would get stuck and then peel themselves off of the traps or set the traps off but escape.  I had caught a total of 0 after several weeks (at which point I am sure the things had multiplied).  This was also about the time that one of my favorite episodes of Duck Dynasty came out, when the Robertson's had mice, Miss Kay got three cats!

SO……...

I begged Kevin for a cat, I just KNEW that if we had a cat it would catch the mice, I had to have a cat… but Kevin was 'allergic'. 

My dear Neighbor Ms M. knew how much I wanted a cat (although I don't think she knew about the rodent issue), so one day in the middle of July she shows up to my front door with a present.  A sweet little kitten from her parents farm.  It was the saddest looking kitten, barely pushing 4 weeks, had eye issues, the momma cat had abandoned it and "Sarah, it's going to get run over by a combine if you don't take it… "  If you know me at all, you know I am a sucker for situations like this, but at the same time the thing was as HOMELY and UGLY as a toad.  I turned to look at Kevin and he said "sure, we can keep it"  (wrong answer!).  So we started off with the kitten on a trial period.  It used it's litter box, it didn't make a lot of noise, it didn't do much of anything but sit on top of our laptops to stay warm.  For several weeks I nursed this cat back to health. 

And then…. Kevin named it.  On the way home from somewhere he looks at me and says "I think we should name the cat Fiona" (it was obviously a girl, it didn't have boy parts).  Once you name an animal you are stuck with it. There are no take-backsies 

Light At The End Of The Tunnel

I think the title of this blog says it all.  I don't know specifically what it was this weekend, but something happened.  I had a revelation that not only have I far passed the halfway point, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel!

So Wednesday I am going to be starting to add weight to my leg when I walk, but on Saturday morning I figured what the heck, why not start now.  Honestly, what are 4 days going to do after 5 1/2 weeks?  So far so good!  This means that I am just at 3 weeks from ditching the crutches and having my life completely back!  Let me tell you about the to do list I have in store for housework - I may have to take more time off from work just to get my list taken care of!

Blessings

Today officially marks 4 weeks from surgery.  I have come so far (but still have a long ways to go).  One of my milestones for today is that I am DONE sleeping with the awful machine at night.  Don't get me wrong I cheated for the last 2 nights and haven't worn it the entire time, it had been causing me pain and discomfort while I tried to sleep!  The box to ship it back should be here tomorrow!  insert happy dance

This also means that in two weeks I can start adding weight.  I am looking forward to this A LOT!  We will start to see a tremendous amount of strength improvement once we start adding weight, in the mean time, we are still working on making my leg go straight and bending it all of the way, still not there.

Talking about my knee has really made me thing about a lot of things (you can only talk to the animals for so long).  Today it was raining when I woke up, crutches and wetness just do not mix so I opted to work from home.  When it was time to go to physical therapy I gave my mom a call to see if she would take me so I didn't have to do wetness alone.  This is when it all kind of hit me (don't get me wrong, I have been very aware at how blessed I am for quite some time).

I am pretty sure that I would NOT have been able to have surgery without some pretty important folks in my life.  My husband, my mom, my step-dad, our friends and family.  If you would have asked me 15 years ago if I would live 7 minutes from my mom I would have hesitated.  Ask me now and I wouldn't change it for the world.  Moving to Manhattan was one of the BEST things for Kevin and I!  Mom being retired is also one of the BEST things for me right now!  Having help with the laundry, cooking, cleaning and picking up has been an absolute blessing, in the beginning I was so upset that she was doing so much to help me, I felt like I should at least be helping.  Four weeks later, I know better!  She has been so amazing, coming over at the smallest text, taking me shopping, cooking me lunch and just providing me with some human interaction.  I am so blessed to have such a great relationship with my mom and to have such an amazing woman in my life, I know not everyone can say that!  She has definitely been an amazing role model for me growing up and continues that to this very day.

Working from home has actually posed some issues for me, I cannot get around to eat lunch because I can't really carry anything around to different rooms, pocket food like Halloween candy works best:)  Kevin has been a real trouper throughout the last 4 weeks, letting the dogs in and out, keeping the cat away from me, and he has even started to learn how to cook (we are talking beyond frozen pizza here folks)!  While the last 4 weeks have been trying on our marriage at times, it is truly making our relationship stronger.  More importantly we both have a better understanding and appreciation of what the other one does around our home.

Enough sappiness, one of my FAVORITE things to do when I go out in public now is to ride the electric wheelchairs around businesses.  Thus far my favorite electric wheelchair is the one at Dillons, hands down.  It feels clean.  Today I checked out the ones at Target, not fast enough for me, but it will do for now.

Birthday Month! (and another knee update)

Today marks three weeks to the day since surgery.  This means that I have three more weeks left of walking around with crutches being non-weight bearing.  This also means that I have 6 weeks left of crutches in general.   I am counting down the days!  I also have some good news from the physical therapist, when I first started seeing him my knee measured at 66 degrees, as of today we are at 96 degrees!  The goal is to get to 110-120 degrees.  So progress is being made!

This week is also our Annual Meeting/Conference that Extension Employees have each year.  Tonight, after all of the meetings were over, two good friends, B and D brought over a birthday cookie to help celebrate the big 3-0!  While my birthday was two weeks ago, I was pretty out of it and wasn't able to get around very well - How exciting was this!  We ate cookie pizza and B watched her first ever episode of Duck Dynasty!  While she assured us that this was probably the last as well, I suspect that she will secretly start watching Willie and his family on a more regular basis:)

Thank you for all of the prayers and thoughts, things are starting to progress in a positive direction!

Knee Update

I was afraid that this would happen.  I started my blog and wrote everything that I wanted to say in two blog posts. I keep thinking to myself "what should I write about tonight on my blog?" and nothing!

I even started two other posts but never published them because I didn't find them very entertaining or informative.  Here are some of the topics I considered writing about

1 - How much being dependent upon others SUCKS.  From having someone clean your home, do your laundry and dishes all the way to help getting in and out of buildings, your car, and bed.  This blog was just a big whine fest.

2 - Kevin and I often give our animals voices and then our animals have conversations with us.  I thought an entire blog dedicated to the smart remarks we 'think' our animals would say to us what be entertaining, but then I realized that you have to be there to find the humor in it!

So I have decided to write you another informative blog about knee surgery/osteotomy recovery.

Two works. IT SUCKS.

I have lost about 20 pounds thus far, pretty sure this is for a few reasons.

1. By the time I hobble to the kitchen I am too tired to eat so I turn around and go back to bed. 
2. In general I have not been finding food very appetizing, the other day I got Chinese take out for dinner.  I took one bite and decided I was full.  So wasteful, I know. 
3. I have lost some muscle mass in my left leg, but I have also gained some muscle in my arms, I am going to have some big muscles when this thing is all said and done with!

I wouldn't recommend this as a diet plan, but for the time being I'll take it!

Physical Therapy has also been incredibly frustrating.  I have a great Physical Therapist who I would strongly recommend anyone who has to go through PT use, his name is Nick and he is at Mercy West. He has been doing a great job, so encouraging and supportive.  The frustrating part is that my knee is just not progressing how I have been wanting it to. In fact, today I was not able to straighten it out for my PT exercises at home.  

Many of you know, patience is not my strong-suit.  I have been reaching into the bottom of the barrel for more patience.  We must be out.  

We have had so many folks ask us what we need, or what they can do to help out.  We just need prayers.  Prayers for healing, prayers for patience, prayers for progress. 

My Knee

As many of you know, I had knee surgery just two weeks ago today.  It was my 4th knee surgery before the age of 30 (I got the surgery in just a week before my 30th bday, because who doesn't want to spend their birthday drugged up and on crutches!).

My first post that I decided not to publish was essentially my medical history.  Didn't think you wanted to read that (and HIPPA may have something to say about that as well).

This is also for all of my friends out there who ask me what happened, or what I had done.  It is much easier to just point you here:)

In the last 6 months my knee had been locking and catching so I knew something was wrong, referral after referral led me to KUMed. I have to say, I was a bit intimidated being referred to a specialist at KUMed.  The Dr. that I had at KUMed I could not have been more impressed with.  My mom went with me to that first appointment and he sat down with us for almost 2 hours and went over everything.  Showed us the X-Rays, showed us why that was bad, shared with us the procedures that he was going to do, etc. etc.  This man NEVER looked at his watch, we were clearly his number 1 priority at that point.  You don't experience that very often!  He showed me that my left leg was crooked, it was between 12-14 degrees off, after 7 degrees that is considered a problem.  Because my leg was off I was putting extra weight on the outside of my joint, which is also where I had all of the meniscus and tissue removed.  Long story short - we had bone on bone action here and the beginnings of some intense arthritis.  We had to schedule surgery for about 3 months out at that point, because of all of the cortisone that had been injected into my knee in the last month he did not feel comfortable operating right away.  I also had a few things in my life that I wanted to get done and over with before we went through with this operation.  Each time I go back and visit with the Dr in my post op appointments, I keep discovering more and more things that were done in my surgery to help me out.  So here is a break down of what happened.
     1- The screws from my previous surgery were removed (which they do not allow you to keep at        KUMed.. BUMMER!)
    2 - What was left of my torn cartilage under my knee was removed, I also had a bone spur growing on the underside of my knee cap so that was smoothed out and taken care of
   3- A wedge was cut into my femur and a 13 degree angle was made, they 'harvested' bone marrow from my femur and used that to fill in the wedge that they had removed.  That was then covered with a plate and 10 screws (the X-ray shows only 8, but 10 sounds even more awesome)
   4- I then had what they call a micro fracture procedure done.  This is when they make a lot of little micro-fractures in your tibia which spurs the regrowth of cartilage.  While this isn't the same type of cartilage that you initially had there, it gives you some new cushion with that regrowth.  It takes the cartilage about 6 weeks to grow.

I am absolutely amazed at what modern medicine can do for us!  This last surgery is what Dr. Munn's called a salvable surgery.  It is the next step to having a total knee replacement done.  The reason they wouldn't do a total knee replacement is because of my age.  These issues are so uncommon that he doesn't really do a whole lot of these a year, but he specializes in this type of surgery and rehabilitation. He even told me that he is currently in the process of writing a paper about doing Osteotomy's (which is what step 3 is called), I am hoping that I am referenced in his work!

I had set a few goals after surgery of things that I wanted to accomplish, one of those was to run another 5K in a year.  I was sharing this with Dr Munns at my last appointment, he informed me that it was a terrible idea to do that.  He said that running itself will tear the cartilage that I am regrowing right now up and that he does NOT want me doing that.  SO... back to the drawing board I go for goal setting, I am sure I will come up with something fun and exciting!

The biggest question I am asked is "what did you do to it" to get to this point.  Honestly, nothing, I was born crooked I suppose and over time it progressively got worse.  I do know that this is the 15-20 year fix instead of the steady ever 5 year ones.  The next one will be to have a knee replacement.  We will cross that bridge when we get there, a lot can happen in 15-20 years in the medical world!

I will say that I have been overwhelmed with everyone's generosity!  K was not much of a cook before hand, but now he is making dinner every night!  From the bottom of my heart I cannot thank everyone enough! The prayers, phone calls, text messages and facebook messages have meant more to me than so many of you can imagine!  I couldn't have gotten through the last two weeks without my mom and K's help, they have been awesome.  I was pretty sure it was a terrible idea to send me home from the hospital on the last day, but my mom and K made it work, got me home, comfortable and settled in.  If either of them ever needed a reference to be a home health nurse, I'm that person:)

Here is the x-ray of my left leg.  The plate and screws are on the outside of my femur.  If you see the green arrow that is drawn on the picture that is the wedge that they cut into my leg and filled with bone marrow!